It’s easy to get too excited about the arrival of summer. Here are some things you should keep in mind before scheduling that family trip.
- Starting a fire on purpose is really hard. Starting one on accident is very easy. It’s kind of like making a baby.
- All the kids’ socks are wet within five minutes.
- Your morning bathroom ritual will go from being your favorite part of the day to an hour of panic.
- Your kids will each find a special rock, and promptly lose it, causing you to spend the entire weekend searching for the rock.
- You ever try to get a three year old to sit down? Now try it in a canoe.
- Your child will develop a sudden fear of peeing outside (something he does all-too-frequently at home). Have fun taking him to the john in bare feet every hour or so.
- You’ll spend approximately 75% of your day explaining what “that noise was.”
- You’ll talk incessantly about buying an RV. You’ll never do it.
- The guy at the site next to you might have a confederate flag and call everyone “Fella.”
- Even expensive freezer bags can’t keep graham crackers dry.
- Hiking involves a lot more arguing and carrying of children than you remembered.
- Seeing a moose is not magical; it’s terrifying
- You’ll say, “I think that’s poison oak” at least forty times and be right twice.
- Everyone will have an acorn under their hip while sleeping.
- Tent farts
And it’s all totally worth it. Seriously, even the “cave rash” you’ll all contract.